6 Financial Considerations for LGBTQ People [With Tips for My Fellow Queers and for All You Allies!]

Written By Kate Dorman
Queer couple holding hands in a wooded area representing that the path to financial security, wellness, and wealth looks different for LGBTQ people.

‘Queer Tax’: The Financial Price of Being Queer

While 7.6% of US adults identify as LGBTQ (or 25 million adults nationwide), LGBTQ individuals and couples face unique financial considerations. Similar to the ‘singles tax’ and the ‘pink tax’, the ‘queer tax’, or the financial price of being queer, highlights systemic inequities and discrimination that impact the LGBTQ community financially. While it is difficult to calculate the exact financial price of being queer, it is clear that the ‘queer tax’ permeates LGBTQ financial health and wellbeing.

While the journey to financial stability and wealth will look different for queer people and may be a longer and windier requiring more forethought and careful planning than for non-queer people, queer people can absolutely achieve financial stability and wealth. Awareness about and understanding of the unique financial considerations that LGBTQ people face is a great first step towards taking ownership and control of your finances and your financial future, and as support for LGBTQ people and queer rights continues to grow, the financial futures of LGBTQ people will continue to grow as well - the future is bright!

Queer black couple representing intersectionality and the impact being BIPOC and queer can have on personal finance.

Intersectionality and the Financial Price of Being Queer

Just as queerness is a spectrum so is the financial price of being queer. Intersectionality cannot be ignored when exploring the financial price of being queer, as it can exacerbate financial challenges faced by queer individuals and couples. Queer people of color, queer people with disabilities, and queer youth have additional financial considerations that queer White, able-bodied adults simply do not.

Again, being a queer person of color, queer person with a disability, and \ or queer youth does not mean that you cannot achieve financial stability and wealth. You absolutely can!

Check out some BIPOC and \ or neurodivergent queer finfluencers (financial + influencers)…

6 Financial Considerations for LGBTQ People

[With Tips for My Fellow Queers and for All You Allies!]

Queer couple wearing wedding dresses and hugging representing lack of familial financial support due to non-acceptance, discrimination, and rejection.

1. Familial Financial Support

Many queer people do not receive any financial support from their family. Queer couples are more than twice as likely to pay for their entire wedding themselves than their cis-hetero counterparts. Queer people are also less likely to receive inheritances from their parents or grandparents, and LGBTQ youth are disproportionately homeless. Sadly, all of these situations are due to non-acceptance, discrimination, and often complete rejection of queer people by their family members.

While many queer people find comfort, love, and support in their chosen families, chosen family members are oftentimes (although not always) other queer people and \ or people of a similar socioeconomic status, who also do not have the means to provide financial support to one another.

    • Consider...

      • Being a stand-in family member for LGBTQ people at their weddings, graduations, etc. through Stand In Pride.

Queer couple on couch at home representing the need for many LGBTQ people to live in high cost of living cities and states for safety reasons.

2. Affordable and Safe Living

For some queer couples, it is important that they live in an LGBTQ friendly city or state. The freedom to be themselves without having to worry about discrimination or difficulty accessing various medical, financial, and educational systems is worth the cost. Of the top 10 most expensive states in the US, only 2 have any anti-LGBTQ statewide laws or policies present. Rather, these states have many laws protecting LGBTQ people through anti-hate and pro-equality laws, such as protection from conversion therapy, all gender single occupancy restrooms, and parental presumption for same-sex couples. On the other hand, of the top 10 states with the lowest cost of living in the US, all of them have anti-LGBTQ statewide laws and policies present, including laws permitting discrimination in adoption placements, HIV\AIDS criminalization laws, transgender exclusions in state Medicaid coverage, and allowing or even requiring intentional misgendering of public-school students. Therefore LGBTQ people who want to live in a safe, supportive, and affirming city or state are going to pay a high price. Some LGBTQ people do not have a choice over where they live, and for those who do have a choice and choose to live in high cost of living areas, well of course they do! After all, who doesn’t want to feel safe and secure in their own city?

    • Vote…

      • With your LGBTQ friends and family in mind - your vote can make a difference to their overall safety and wellbeing!

    • Lobby…

      • In your city and state for laws and policies that aim to protect your LGBTQ friends and family.

Queer couple at dinner representing differences in wages.

3. Employment Opportunities and Wages

Discrimination as well as lack of inclusivity in the workplace can limit job opportunities for LGBTQ people. LGBTQ are at an extreme disadvantage in terms of wages, even more so when intersectionality, particularly race and ethnicity, is taken into consideration. According to the Human Rights Campaign, LGBQ people of color earn between 70 cents and 90 cents on every dollar that the typical worker earns, and transwomen, transmen, nonbinary, genderqueer, and two spirit workers earn between 60 cents and 70 cents on every dollar that the typical worker earns. These numbers are shocking! Unjust and discriminatory.

Furthermore, in cis-hetero relationships, men and women are earning the most they possibly could given their identities. However, in queer relationships, neither person is earning the most that they possibly could. For example, as women are still paid significantly less compared to their male counterparts, two women in a relationship are at a financial deficit. Similar with two queer people of color in a relationship or two trans people in a relationship.

Additionally, queer people all too often experience discrimination and harassment in the workplace. Discrimination and harassment can lead to more frequent job changes, gaps in employment, and fewer feasible job options.

    • Collect...

      • Evidence (hard data as well as practical examples) of the quality work that you are doing throughout the year. Use this information to obtain the raise or promotion that you deserve.

    • Remember...

      • It is not your fault that the system is designed for queer people to struggle.

      • You deserve to earn as much as your peers regardless of your gender or sexual orientation.

    • Learn...

    • Create...

      • A safer workspace for your LGBTQ colleagues by reporting any discrimination to Human Resources.

    • Respect...

      • Your LGBTQ colleagues' pronouns - they respect yours!

    • Advocate...

      • For safe and accessible restrooms for your trans and nonbinary colleagues.

Trans masc person with needle for testosterone injection representing the high cost of gender affirming care, including surgeries and hormones.

4. Gender Affirming Care

According to every legitimate research and health care institution in the nation, gender affirming care is, indisputably and without a doubt, life-saving care. Unfortunately, gender affirming care can cost tens of thousands of dollars, between surgeries, hormones, lost wages from after surgery recovery, and inadequate health insurance coverage. Therefore, many trans and non-binary people in need of gender affirming care are either unable to access it or utilize high interest personal loans or credit cards to cover the cost of care. The cost to be oneself is far too high.

Gender affirming care can be medical or non-medical. Gender affirming medical care can be a one time expense, such as a surgery, or ongoing throughout life, such as hormones. Similarly, gender affirming non-medical care can be a one time expense, such as changing gender markers on all forms of identification, or ongoing throughout life, such as mental health therapy.

    • Research...

      • How much gender affirming care may cost. 

    • Determine...

      • Timelines for when you would like your gender affirming care - an ideal timeline, an acceptable timeline, and an absolute-longest-I’m-able-to-wait timeline.

    • Calculate...

      • How much you would need to save each month or year in order to reach your different timeline goals. 

    • Consider...

    • Seek...

      • Employment with adequate health care coverage if possible.

    • Read...

      • Never Pay the First Bill by Marshall Allen to learn how to advocate for your healthcare coverage and to avoid being exploited by the medical industry - you have rights!

    • Ask...

      • How can I provide (financial, emotional, physical) support to my friend or family member as they access gender affirming care?

    • Learn...

    • Advocate...

      • At your place of employment for better (or any) gender affirming care coverage.

Queer dads celebrating their baby's first birthday representing the high costs of family planning, including IUI, IVF, surrogacy, and adoption.

5. Family Planning

Queer couples grow their families in many ways, including IUI, IVF, reciprocal IVF, surrogacy, adoption, and more! While some cis-hetero couples experience the high costs of infertility, many (albeit not all) queer couples will need to spend a significant amount of money (tens of thousands, even hundreds of thousands) in order to grow their families. Unfortunately, most health insurance plans do not cover any of these costs, and some states even have laws making it difficult to access this type of care.

In addition to the costs of conception itself, queer couples have legal costs, such as second parent adoption, parental rights confirmation, etc.

Unfortunately, lack of transparency in the healthcare industry as well as the many unknowns and unexpecteds of family planning can make it difficult to financially prepare to grow your family. The range a couple may have to pay is huge - from inconsequential to considerable.


    • Advocate...

      • At your place of employment for fertility benefits for LGBTQ people, who are not experiencing infertility. 

    • Read...

      • Queer Conception by licensed midwife and owner of Maia Midwifery Liam Kali to learn about the many ways that queer couples conceive. It is natural to be curious! Educate yourself before asking sensitive or invasive questions of your friends or family members.

6. Access to Lines of Credit

While the Equal Credit Opportunity Act prohibits creditors from discriminating against people based on sexual orientational and gender, queer people still report significantly more difficulty accessing lines of credit than non-queer people. Additionally, 73% of queer people reported feeling discriminated against by mortgage lenders. The Equal Credit Opportunity Act is, of course, a step in the right direction, and it is also, just that, a step.

In addition to experiencing discrimination and difficulty accessing lines of credit, queer people have substantially more debt than non-queer people. While 13% of US citizens have student loan debt, a startling 39% of LGBTQ adults and 51% of transgender adults have student loan debt.

Difficulty accessing lines of credit may also be due to the ripple affect - lower wages, lack of familial support, and living in high cost of living cities due to needing LGBTQ protections can lead to an increased need for student loans, private loans, credit cards, etc. Increased debt leads to difficulty accessing future debt. Difficulty accessing debt can lead queer people to predatory high-cost lending, such as pay day loans, pawn shops, etc. Fortunately, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is working to expand protections to LGBTQ people as they are disproportionately targeted by predatory lenders.

    • Learn...

      • About the pros and cons of accessing credit as well as various types of credit, so you can make informed decisions and have more control of your personal finances.

    • Apply...

    • Utilize...

    • Ask...

      • Your LGBTQ friends and family members how you can support them in their journey to pay down debt, obtain a mortgage, or finance larger expenses.

Queer couple hugging, smiling, and kissing representing the success and progress the queer community has made - similar to money management, the process is still but worthwhile.

*Queer Success

The queer community has achieved so much progress and success and continues to have an upward trajectory!

If personal finance and money management feel stressful to you as a queer person, remember…

  • You have already overcome so much more than money - you’ve got this!

  • Queer progress has been slow but steady - similarly, changing your financial circumstances will not happen overnight, but it is certainly worth the fight.

  • You are not alone - money can be very overwhelming and confusing. Consider taking these therapeutic steps to change the direction of your financial journey.

  • Take money management at your own pace - just as your queer journey is yours and yours alone, your financial journey is too. The path may not be linear, but you will get there on your own time.

  • Money is important and it certainly isn’t everything. Knowing and loving yourself is first and foremost - happy pride!

Kate Dorman

Kate Dorman is a Certified Financial Therapist and the founder of Sound Financial Therapy LLC. Read about Kate’s passion for and journey to financial therapy here. Connect with Kate today.

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